My First Week as a Stay at Home Mom!

I haven't ever been one to rely much on "signs" in my life, especially not for making important decisions.  But, I recently took a leap of faith and quit my job based on a gut feeling and several signs that made me realize it was the right thing to do, and that me working full-time and P being in day-care full-time were not meant to be.  In an instant it became so clear that the answer had been staring me in the face and I had just been ignoring it.
I never even thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom, never really considered doing anything but working full-time.  That is my life as I know it and it is really scary to literally start all over.  All I kept thinking of was how much I would lose--I was so close to my 5 year anniversary which means bigger bonuses, more PTO time, another raise...What we would have to sacrifice financially to make it work... And what would happen if I quit, would I be able to find another job in a few years? Would I be bored? Do I have the patience??  All this had been in the back of my mind.  But now, I am so at peace with my decision, and I know things will work out.  I had been wanting to go to 4 days a week at my old job, but that was not a possibility with that company, and now I am glad it didn't work out that way because I would have missed out on this opportunity to be home with my daughter.  That's not to say the fear doesn't creep in sometimes and I think "Oh shit, what did I do?!" 

But, this week really reaffirmed for me why I am home.  I had to take some time off when P had the flu, and then when I got the flu from her.  Now this week she is sick again with a high fever so that would have meant even more time off, and I would have been negative with my Paid Time Off.  It felt so good to be able to keep her home and not have to worry about "Do I send her to the sitter's or not?", or worry about using up all my days off.  This week has been a little different with her being sick since it has limited us getting out of the house & to be quite frank she has been a little cranky ;)
I really don't like the term "stay at home mom" because I don't plan on "staying HOME" all the time.  I would go crazy.  We have all kinds of things planned to get out and do so hopefully next week we will be able to get back on track. 

I am trying to take it day by day and not think too much about the future, and just enjoy my time off.  It is great being able to explore some ventures that I have wanted to do but haven't had the time for.  It feels amazing to not have to cram all of my life into a few short hours between getting home from work & bedtime.  To actually feel like I have time to think.  I have so much I want to work on within myself and this is a step I need to take to do that.  I had become so overwhelmed and fragmented and spreading myself too thin.  This is really a new journey in my life and I plan to make the most of it, doing little things to make myself better as a wife, mother, person.  Really at the end of the day you just have to live with yourself, be able to love yourself, and be happy when you look in the mirror.  And if I have to make some sacrifices along the way for it to happen, then I'm willing to do that.